- The Characters -


This is Hamilton Hirschfield Howlington, heir to the Howlington fortune. He's expected to take over the family business one day, but amiable Hamilton may not have the stomach for it. Hamilton has a personal butler, a personal chauffeur, a personal maid ... and a personal tormentor.


-- The personal tormentor. Tailipoe lives under Hamilton's bed. You may have one of your own, take a look. Remember those bumps in the night? It wasn't just the faulty plumbing. But take care -- Once creatures like Tailipoe are discovered, they dispense with all sense of decorum, as if they had much in the first place. Good luck getting a peaceful nap again.


Armand Howlington controls the majority of the world's supply of iodized salt. So, he's rich and powerful, with powerful enemies. He's reluctant to leave the confines of his ancestral home, Oedifice, as he knows there are all manner of barbarians at the gates. Armand is concerned about Hamilton's ability to eventually take over the family fortune and business, but he still pins hopes on his son.



Hamilton's half-sister feels cooped up in the sprawling family manor. Her step-dad and mother are protective and reluctant to let her out of their sight, but she's pretty slippery. Incense is a romantic -- or something.


An insolent butler who's rarely seen without his protege, Dingleberry. Their attitude is, what's the point living among all that luxury if not to enjoy it? The butlers are not shy about helping themselves to the amenities.